I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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