When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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