i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
