lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
