the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
