I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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