Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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