my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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