Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.