He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I looked at my own cervix.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.