The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
