Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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