Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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