dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
