I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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