its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
