She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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