I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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