She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
