During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
