this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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