You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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