Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
