We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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