Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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