so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So squirting runs in the family.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize