i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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