Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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