idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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