he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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