Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
