Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize