...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then