he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome