i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.