Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
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yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS