i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again