Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.