I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
