I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
