Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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