Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
