sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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