You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
