Having a random hookup so left but love u
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
