STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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