I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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