Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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