shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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