My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
