ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
