Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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