He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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