You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
