you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
