So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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