Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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