He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
