thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
