we have pet lesbian snakes
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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