you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dick very happy bro
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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