Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
