Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
