I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Randomize
